Risk
by Faylynn
Summary: Alistair forces himself to compromise his marriage, to preserve his wife.
1. Chapter 1

Alistair rested his hands on the cold steel of the balcony rail, lowering his forehead to it slowly. Crouching here, he relived the last 24 hours over in his mind again. Elissa miscarried during the night. It was a horror unlike the times before. She was in her seventh month, and they were sure they were in the clear. The other miscarriages happened during the first three months and though heartbreaking, weren't nearly as painful as this. She went through labor. Her wailing was heard throughout the castle as their stillborn child purged itself from her womb 6 hours later. He held her and their son in his arms as they both trembled from their loss.

She had finally gone to sleep an hour ago, and in less than 4 hours would be the service for the small babe. It was rushed, certainly, but both desired their boy, Bryce, to be put to rest as soon as possible.

Pain echoed in his chest for himself, for his wife, and for his kingdom. What was to become of Ferelden if he could not continue his family line that the country held so dear? He had tried bringing up the idea of appointing an heir, but the Landsmeet refused to even consider it unless the King perished before an heir was born. They wished to force his hand, force him to take another wife or at the very least, a mistress to bear a child.

Alistair stepped back into his bed chambers and watched Elissa's peaceful breathing. Maker he loved her. He had never considered the noble's outrageous options for a moment until this last day. She had lost so much blood, her physicians were convinced she would die and had even told him to begin preparing. He had never felt so desperate in those hours, so lost, squeezing her hand so tightly, willing her to stay with him. She stayed, and for that he was grateful. Now, his mind buzzed with whether he'd be willing to lose her for an heir. He wasn't sure he could risk losing her just to appease the nobles.

Alistair steeled himself for the conversation he knew he'd have with her in a few days time, after their mourning, when she would undoubtedly return to her cheery front for him and her seductive nature. "You really are a minx you know," he whispered to her softly, with sad smile on his face as he ran his fingers over her swollen abdomen. Tears came to his eyes again as he laid beside her, resting for the last hours of twilight.


	2. Chapter 2

Two Months later…

Elissa fidgeted with a strand of her hair in front of her mirror for 10 minutes before letting out an exasperated sigh. She removed the fancy combs gifted to her and shook her hair out. She felt silly, stupid even, for her nerves and for dolling herself up for her husband. She certainly didn't mind stunning him for their royal functions but this was his return from Redcliffe, in the late afternoon. There was no pomp and circumstance, yet it kept her hands occupied. Alistair had left a month before, two weeks after her miscarriage, to attend to business with Teagan. He had acted so strangely the nights leading up to his departure and had even taken to working late into the evenings. He had been avoiding her, and she felt dread as to why. He had written to her twice while he was gone, insisting he missed her terribly and would be home soon, but she couldn't help feeling a bit lost.

She knew the pressure upon them to have a child. For two years she carried this burden and only shed a smile to those besides Alistair. For appearances she appeared eager, delighted each time they found out she was pregnant. With Alistair, she cried for their lost children, and by herself she scorned her own womb. Alistair never blamed her, and would be furious to know she blamed herself.

A servant knocked on her door to alert her the King was making his approach. Elissa gathered the skirts of her dress and glanced at the mirror once before taking a deep breath and making her way quickly down the hall towards the courtyard.

He had never felt so miserable in his life. He was met by the castle staff and all appeared thrilled at his return. And waiting for him at the top of the stairs was his Elissa, looking even more beautiful than before. She beamed a smile at him, and he weakly returned it.

"I don't deserve her," he thought, making his way up the stairs and taking her into his arms. He lead her away from the crowds and made it to their bedroom chamber before realizing she had been talking to him the entire time.

"I'm sorry El…I'm distracted," he said, his mind still racing as he opened the door for her.

"I can tell. You look pale and scared to death, Alistair." She spoke softly as she pulled him into their room. "Tell me what's wrong. You wouldn't speak of this trip to me for days previous and its obviously worn on you," she pulled him towards their bed, smiling up at him as she pulled at his breastplate buckles. " You know you can…"

"Elissa I slept with someone else," he pulled away from her hands, feeling the flood gates open as he rambled an explanation. Maker, he hadn't wished for it to come out that way. "The doctors told me you wouldn't survive the last pregnancy and you almost didn't, and when you did I knew I couldn't do this anymore, couldn't have you carry anymore children, I couldn't lose you, not for an heir, and reason for the trip to Redcliffe was an arrangement to find a woman who could keep her mouth shut, carry a child to term and them relinquish it to us after agreeing to leave Ferelden with a huge sum of money."

Alistair paused to catch his breath still not looking at his wife as he continued. "It was horrible, and I hated every moment of it but it's done, and she's pregnant and Teagan will be watching over her and she's out of our lives."

Alistair finally looked to Elissa, and saw her standing stiffly a few feet from him, her eyes wide and her jaw clamped shut. She opened her mouth a few times as if to test it before whispering to him, "Are you done?"

He swallowed and sat on the bed. "I'm…I'm so sorry. " Elissa starred down at the floor before swiftly turning on her heels, heading for the door leading to her private chambers. Alistair immediately followed after her. "Elissa please," he asked gently as he grabbed for her hand but as she turned her fist swung at him and connected with the side of his head. Alistair grunted as he fell to the floor, tears stinging his eyes as his vision swam. "Elissa, I did this for us, please…"

The door to her room slammed shut before he finished the sentiment. Alistair cradled his head in his hands, closing his eyes as the bitter taste of blood entered his mouth. "What have I done..." he asked to the empty walls.


	3. Chapter 3

Elissa cradled an empty wine bottle between her crossed legs, balancing the bottle's neck on her right knee, and then bouncing it across to her left knee. Focusing on the bottle's neck, she took it in her hand and began to spin it, but it wasn't until she started to juggle the bottle in the air that Anders became nervous.

It wasn't until one timely toss where she started sending the bottle into a spiral that Anders grabbed it out of the air and blew it across the room, out the balcony until it crashed on the courtyard below. Its remains held company with 5 other similarly smashed bottles.

"You know Anders, you could be hurting some innocent passerby doing that," Elissa hiccuped and she sank further into her chair.

"Well, it beats watching you slice your skull open on glass shards," he grumbled. " You know Elle, I'm the last one to stop you if you want to get raging drunk, but perhaps this one time you shouldn't be…" he walked up to her and grabbed the wine glass she threatened to drop on the floor, "distracting yourself. You're hurt, and everyone knows it, and if they didn't, Alistair's black eye proves something is wrong. So slug him again, or let's get out of here, clear your head with some travel."

"I can't leave…I'm queen remember? I'm supposed to sit here and smile and pretend my husband didn't just impregnate a whore whose child I'll have to take care of." Elissa stumbled out of the chair but quickly regained her footing as her anger rebalanced her. "How did he not think I'd find that insulting by the way? How is caring for his bastard child something I should be excited about?"

"He's a man, Elle," Liliana spoke from the balcony. "Worse, he's Alistair. He panicked and while he probably felt bad about being with someone else, he figured a child was a child. An heir is an heir, just like a shirt is a shirt," Liliana grimaced as she returned her attention back outside. She had stayed quiet up to this point as she watched Alistair cross the training grounds talking to his advisers. He too was busy distracting himself.

Liliana had been in Denerim for the last six months since she had heard of Elissa's pregnancy. She was to be Bryce's secondary guardian so she too felt the couple's loss. She had been the one persuading Elissa to primp herself for Alistair's return. She was the one who poured fertility teas down her friend's throat while he was gone, and she had the misfortune of picking up her shattered form the morning after Alistair's arrival home. She felt pity for them both. She understood Alistair's motives. She had seen him grieve when the physicians informed him that Elissa might not wake up, but she wished he had resolved this differently. He could have given her a choice in the matter.

Elissa laid her head into a pillow. "His stupidity is not an excuse this time Lil," she mumbled. Turning on her side, she whispered, "This is unforgivable."

"He's crazy about you El, that much is obvious," Anders said softly from his chair. "You can't possibly think he did this for the thrill. Most days he's glued to your side."

"I don't care. I would rather be turned out of this castle and have him remarry then suffer this betrayal from the one man who swore to always stand by me." Tears stung her eyes. "I might as well be his whore now that I serve no other purpose." She hiccuped. "Oh wait, that role is taken."

"Elle, I think that's the booze talking now," Liliana coaxed. "I'm not saying you have to forgive him right away, or ever even, but you shouldn't cloud the circumstances with your anger. He does love you. Lack of love did not cause this."

Elissa pursed her lips together as she dried her eyes. "I want to go to Highever. I need to go home." Anders winced. "What is it?"

"Is going home to your overprotective brother and telling him your husband just cheated on you really a good idea? I mean…I know you're angry but I hardly think we're at the point of assassination attempts are we? If we are, I know people who could do a much cleaner and quieter job." Anders winked as he poked her side.

Elissa smirked. "Fergus will be in Orlais for 4 months. He's discussing trade agreements, so I'll have the manor to myself."

"You didn't answer me on the assassination attempt…" Anders quipped.

"That's because I haven't ruled it out yet. Though for the record, I wouldn't need to hire assistance." Elissa flashed a weak smile at her friends before frowning down at her disheveled appearance. "I should probably take a bath."

"Let me get that started for you," Liliana offered. "Nothing like some pampering to make you feel better."

"And remove the boot from your crushed ego," Anders offered. When he was met with cold glares he silenced himself. "I should probably tell the stables to prepare for our departure yes? Yes, that would be helpful. "

"Our?" Elissa called from the bathroom.

"Yes, our." Liliana replied. "You aren't going alone. You'll just get terribly drunk and let your hair become a mess like you always do."

"I don't have a say in this do I?" Her friends shook their heads no. She sighed. "This is a new theme I'm really not caring for. At all."


	4. Chapter 4

Alistair entered his bedchamber and swiftly locked the door behind him, releasing a breath of relief. The day had been too long, and guilt plagued him. It had been 3 days since he'd arrived home and Elissa had barely said hello to him. She started sleeping in her private chambers attached to his and had bolted her door. He had already checked it three times. That evening however, their shared chambers were in disarray. He surveyed the room and saw articles of her clothing tossed about, and without further thought went to try their adjoining door for the fourth time. To his surprise, it was unlocked. He peaked into her room, and saw her folding clothes on her bed, packing some of her light clothes and belongings into a travel bag. His heart sank to his stomach, knowing what this meant.

"Stop hovering in the doorway Alistair," she called softly without turning. "Come in or leave the way you came."

"I'm not hovering," he replied, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him. "I'm…observing, observing a lot of your clothes being shoved into a small bag, one you could easily carry on horseback."

She turned at this and met his eyes, saw the angst festering there, but then looked away. "I'm going to stay at Highever. I need some time to think."

"Must you go so far to think?" he spoke softly as he slowly stepped closer to her. "I'm very good at being quiet. I can't promise invisible but…" he stopped when he heard a small sob escape from her and quickly closed the distance between them. "Please don't go, Elle. I want to make this right." He wrapped his arms around her waist and for a moment, he felt her lean back into him. She pulled away just as quickly.

"There's nothing you can say or do to make it better Alistair. There is no magic fix for this. I need time away from here, away from you." She wiped at her eyes and grabbed a shirt off her dresser, continuing to pack.

"I don't want you to go Elissa." Alistair choked out, but took a step back as she rounded on him.

"You should have thought about that before crawling between the legs of the first woman to have you," she spat at him. Alistair's anger boiled over at her words and he grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him.

"Do you really think I'd jeopardize our relationship, your trust in me, if I didn't think it was the last choice? You can't conceive again Elissa. It will kill you." She stopped struggling to get away from him at this. "Who told you this?" she replied angrily.

"The court physicians, the mages, the midwives." He spoke softly and ran his hands down her sides. He rested his forehead against her as the blow fully hit her. "They could be wrong Alistair. Why would you go to such an extreme without talking to me? Why would you betray me?"

"I…didn't want to tell you. I knew it would break your heart, and as for betraying you, I would do anything to save you, even if, if…"

"Even if it means fucking someone else." Elissa finished, her anger fueling her again. Alistair grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall.

"Elissa. She meant nothing to me. No one can compare…" He whispered to her. He moved between her legs and pushed her hands up beside her head, pressing a kiss to her lips.

Elissa tried to push him away but his lips found their way to hers again. When he broke the kiss she struggled to break free of his grasp, but instead broke his barrier of propriety. He shoved her against the stone wall, this time kissing her with such force, such passion that she felt herself grow dizzy. She felt his hands travel to her breeches, felt him untie them and push them off her hips. Her hands, now released, worked on his blouse, ripping the buttons off the front of his shirt. Neither noticed the tearing of her bodice as Alistair's fingers cupped a breast in one hand while flinging the top to the floor with the other. He quickly undid his trousers and in a swift movement, brought her legs up around his hips.

She wanted so badly to regain control, to push him off of her, to tell him he didn't deserve her, but Elissa's control was gone, consumed by a physical desire to release. He entered her while she was pressed against the wall, and she moaned as he filled her, thrusting into her as slowly as he could manage. He pressed her hands back up against the walls and sucked her hardened nipple. He felt her legs tighten around his hips, and suddenly he was thrusting madly into her, fueled by her squeals and moans as she climaxed.

His final thrust left him shuddering as he pressed against her body, emptying himself into her. Sweat ran from both of them as he pulled away from the wall, cradling her against him, and collapsed onto the bed.

Hours later, Elissa awoke to Alistair's soft snoring. She scowled at herself, realizing she was still in a sex haze. That had not gone according to plan. In truth, it did nothing but fuel her anger and pain more, though in a considerably more pleasurable way then say, drinking.

She had to leave. She had to leave him, her soul mate, so she could regain a part of herself she'd lost with the death of their child. Being with him blurred her anger, and what she needed was to feel it, otherwise it may never dissipate. Maybe she could come to terms with Alistair's choices, and perhaps this child would at some point prove to be a blessing in disguise, but right now she needed to run. Her one relief came from knowing he couldn't follow her, not until early to mid summer at least. It was late fall now, and the roads to Highever would soon be covered in frost, and in the spring, they would be muddied by the rains. Even if he wanted to make the trip, his agenda at the castle would keep him occupied.

She gathered her bags and stood in the doorway to her bedroom, looking upon his sleeping form. Maker, she loved him. Hopefully one day, she'd learn to forgive him.


	5. Chapter 5

It was early morning by the time the three friends started out. Despite her protests, she was forced to bring 5 guards with her on the road. Apparently Alistair had predicted as much from her. The trip to Highever would only take two days on horseback, weather permitting. Liliana, true to form started their journey with a song, while Anders bobbed his head to her tune, while Elissa tried to ignore them both. She appreciated their company and concern, but wanted to be left alone to contemplate the hallow chasm in her mind, where she could forget the last few years. She was debating whether she wanted to forget her wedding, or the evening that followed.

Those were happy times, full of trials certainly, but exciting all the same. Alistair had done so much good for Ferelden in 5 short years. She was proud of his negotiations to allow mages more freedoms, even more so of his determination to tear down the alienage and offer Denerim elves better living quarters. A pit formed in her stomach again. Most probably would be proud of him for putting aside his beloved queen for the sake of the nation. Most would probably think of it as selfless and noble. She couldn't bear to think of that, so she returned to the chasm.

Anders and Liliana began to sing in unison in front of her. "And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful," Liliana sung, and Anders finished, " then the risk it took to bloom." (- Anais Nin).

By the afternoon of the second day Highever was in sight, but Elissa couldn't help starring as some heavy smoke coming from West Hill. "Who lives there now that Arl Wulff has passed?" Liliana asked her quietly. "The Arling was passed to a rather miserable man, Wulff's cousin." Elissa replied. "Alistair didn't have much say in the matter since it was a predetermined assignment, but I remember he didn't like him."

"Nothing good has ever come from ominous clouds," Anders said, grimacing at the skyline.

"We're heading to West Hill before we move onto Highever," Elissa called to the guards. They nodded back to her and the group continued forth.

An hour later, Elissa dismounted onto charred earth. The fortress seemed intact but the small village had been ravaged by fires. Several corpses laid in the street as they approached the town square, and Elissa almost gagged when she realized some of the bodies were burning as well.

A woman ran towards her from a home in the square. She stopped short ten feet in front of Elissa, seeing the tensed guards and dropped to her knees. "Your majesty, please you must help us."

"Please, stand," Elissa replied, taking the woman's arm and bringing her back to her feet. "Please tell me what has happened here and I will offer whatever help I can."

The elder woman hesitated before continuing. "This is all the Arl's doing. He raped my daughter and left her with child. She died in childbirth less than a week ago but the child lives and the Arl is furious." The woman began to cry. "He threatened us to bring the child forward so he could sacrifice the child to the maker but…oh my lady I could not…the child is an innocent and my only grandson. Please…" the woman stopped and cried out when she heard the sound of horses. Arl Lawrence stopped his party short upon seeing the queen, his demeanor instantly warming. "Your Majesty, I see you take an interest in my…dilemma."

"What dilemma would that be, Arl"

"Why, these peasants keeping my own flesh and blood from me so I might do with him as I will." Lawrence bowed low. "Surely the Queen herself knows the value of children. I am so very sorry to have heard of the loss of your own son dear lady." Elissa felt herself harden. He dared to mock her.

"I take no interest in anything you do," Elissa spat at him. "Did you honestly terrorize these good people for the sake of saving face at court?"

"I am engaged your Majesty, to the Arl of Dragon Peak's daughter." Lawrence spoke more quietly. "The child would ruin my arrangement, and besides he's no son I would ever claim. I see no harm in doing away with it."

Elissa was taken back. "I see plenty harm with it, sir." Elissa motioned to her guards. "Arrest this man and bring him before the King. Tell him of what you heard here and tell him his Queen sent you." Elissa walked over to the elder woman.

"This is not your place to interfere! I will see that the King hears of this treatment towards me," the Arl yelled after her as two guards bound his arms and legs.

Elissa approached the senior guard. "Tell the King as well that with this woman's permission, the discarded boy will be raised under the guardianship of the crown," The elder woman tears flowed freely as she kissed Elissa's hand and produced the small boy from a fold in her cloaks. "Thank you for your mercy, my lady."

"May I have your name?" Elissa asked, as she took the swaddled boy into her arms and smiled back at the old woman, "and his as a matter of fact."

"I am Meredith, but that is of little concern. I am old and weary and have seen too many years already. I shall not last long," she flashed a weak smile at Elissa, "The boy however…my daughter named him Jacen before he passed, for his grandfather, my late husband."

"Then Jacen his name shall be." Elissa said with a smile, cradling the small boy to her. Liliana was by her side in a heartbeat cooing over the small child while Anders produced a small grey warden toy from his robes. Elissa found the entire scene outrageous, but felt whole for the first time in months. The guards were well on their way to Denerim with the screaming gagged Arl when Anders, Liliana Elissa and Jacen arrived at the steps of Highever.

Elissa was greeted with joy and confusion by the Highever staff but it wasn't long before they scavenged together necessities for the child. Laying the sleeping baby on her bed propped between two pillows, Elissa finally let her worry show in her face.

"Lil, if I thought Alistair was making a fool of me before, I just offered him a huge opportunity to do it again, legitimately." Elissa replied pursing her lips.

"In truth Elle, I do think you have the upper hand here." Liliana wrapped a chocolate colored curl from the boy's head around her finger. Alistair is wishing to regain your affection. He will not turn this boy away, especially when he learns of the boy's humble background. It's not as if you declared him as heir to the throne."

"I know, but if he's angry about me leaving in the middle of the night…" Liliana stopped her and kissed her forehead. "Hush your mind for now and rest. That is why you are here. You're a surrogate mother now." Liliana gave her an evil grin, one Elissa could not help returning as she lay down beside the boy. Surrogate mother indeed, although Aunt might be a better term to present to the nobles.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. I find it funny that each chapter is subsequently getting longer than the previous. Hopefully i can keep that up ;) **

* * *

His head pounded more than usual today. Elissa had been gone for exactly a week and he could not drink enough alcohol to hide the fact that she hadn't written yet. Council had been unusually long today, and as the throne room grew quiet, Alistair took a moment to just close his eyes and breathe.

That moment was promptly interrupted by five soldiers bursting into the front hall. Alistair opened his eyes but stood still, watching the soldiers as they struggled with a man. His brow furrowed but said nothing until the soldiers were escorted in.

"Your majesty, we bring this criminal before you, by order of the Queen." At this his eyes shot up.

"I see. You men realize this is the Arl of West Hill, correct?" Alistair questioned.

"Yes sir. The Queen found his crimes offensive enough to be brought before you."

"This is outragg-" Lawrence sputtered before a guard readjusted his gag. Alistair tried his hardest not to laugh. Oh Elle, how you brighten my day.

Alistair stepped forward and motioned for the soldiers to put Lawrence down. "What crime did the Queen witness?"

"West Hill's village has been destroyed your Majesty, and the people proclaim it was at the hand of this man," the senior guard replied.

"It was one woman." Lawrence scoffed.

"In truth your Majesty it was just woman, but there weren't many townsfolk left alive to confirm her story. The Arl was hunting the town for his bastard son born of a woman he raped."

Alistair eyes grew cold. "What of the boy?"

"The Queen saved the child my Lord. She proclaimed the unwanted child to be under the guardianship of the crown."

"You can't allow that." Lawrence yelled. " I want that child disposed of! This will ruin…"

"Enough," Alistair bellowed. "The queen's judgment is sound. Bring this man to the tower where he will await sentencing."

As Lawrence was lead out of the room, Alistair called the senior guard over. "My wife…she claimed the child as property of the crown?"

"Essentially, my Lord, guardianship to be exact."

"How old is the child?" Alistair asked quietly.

"A babe still. The woman said the child was but a week an infant."

Alistair sat at this. He had a feeling he should be angry, but he couldn't help but smile. "He's with her at Highever then. What's his name?"

"Jacen, my Lord."

Alistair nodded. "Thank you." The guard exited as Alistair sat there in shock. He had never questioned the strength of Elissa's heart but accepting a child so soon after losing their own, he didn't think it possible of Andraste. He couldn't help but be awed by her. Then a thought popped in his head. They had a child to care for, together. His wife always managed to make him feel weak in comparison to her. He gave in to the noble's pressure while she can push her hurt aside to nurture a child.

His mind wandered in the empty throne room as he longed for her.

* * *

Highever's grounds were iced in white by the sparkling flakes floating from the sky. Elissa stared out at the distant sun setting into the treetops. The sun's orange rays were covered by winter's white clouds, but it still left purple and red streaks in the skyline as it departed from the day. Jacen shifted in her arms, fussing for a bottle adjustment. Elissa smiled down at him and turned his bottle in his mouth. It'd been two months since she'd left Denerim and already found herself incredibly attached to the small child. She cradled him close and spoke to him softly.

"I know your very small Jacen, but this is your first Winter's solstice, and that fluffy stuff out there? That's snow." Elissa pointed out the window, and he smiled at her as he enjoyed his dinner. "Typical boy aren't you? All you need is a hot meal and your content."

"Don't forget a warm bosom," Ander added as he entered the room. He draped a blanket over her shoulders and leaned down to Jacen. "How's my favorite nephew?" Jacen giggled and grabbed for Ander's nose. "Hey, I need that, little one. And you my dear Elissa, you need a meal." Anders took the small boy from her lap. "I can handle the bottle. You go eat before Lil starts force feeding you."

Elissa wandered down to the Kitchen to find Liliana setting her an extravagant place setting. She stopped short. "Is the empress of Orlais joining us for dinner Lil?"

"No silly. I just wanted to make a nice dinner for you so could relax, chat, you know. Girl stuff." Liliana dished some soup into her bowl.

Elissa sat at her seat suspiciously, grabbing a roll off the table. "If this is about you and Anders becoming bedmates you can spare me the details. Besides I've already heard more details than I need to know."

Liliana made a face at her and Elissa broke into a grin. "Well I'll tell you the advantage of being a woman and sleeping with a spirit healer / blood mage, as if that combination wasn't exotic enough. You tend to pick up on your traveling partners illnesses.

Elissa put her spoon down and looked away. "Yes, I know Lil. No, I don't know what I want to do about it. No, I'm not telling Alistair."

Liliana reached across the table and held her hand. "You know there is a –a chance you could not survive?" Elissa nodded. "I also know tomorrow the sun could decide to not rise. I could choke on a roll of bread and die in a week. I can't live fearing what could be." Liliana nodded and got up to wrap her arms around her. Elissa could feel tears on Liliana's cheeks and rose to fully embrace her friend. "Don't worry Lil. Aren't you the one always telling me that the future is in the hands of the maker?"

"Yes, I know. Shush and stop comforting me with my own beliefs," though as she finished speaking both women began to laugh.

"Alistair should know Elle. He'd want to know."

"I will tell him, I promise. Its just too soon at this point. If I wrote telling him he'd kill himself trying to climb these mountains in the winter. If I'm still…" she paused, "healthy in the summer, we'll tell him right away."

"Are you still angry with him?" Liliana whispered as their laughter settled.

Elissa looked down at her hands. "Sometimes. I'm still not sure exactly what I feel. I thought I understood where we both stood on children, but then after Bryce…after Bryce he changed, and somehow I didn't see how afraid he became. Even if I can get over him having a child with someone else, how can I accept him closing off from me?"

"I think your making it fairly clear that you won't tolerate it right now, Elle, with this distance," with that she slipped an envelope into Elissa's hand. "That came for you today. Go get some rest. I'll stay up with Jacen tonight."

Elissa looked up, "Are you sure? I wouldn't want him interrupting your nightly marathon."

"We'll be just fine, you mean thing. Happy Solistice."

"You too Lil."

As Elissa walked back up the stairs she peeked into Ander's room and found him and Jacen sound asleep. She smiled as she retreated to her room, sitting herself back by her large window. Taking a deep breath, she opened the letter:

My Dear Elissa,

This winter has been the coldest winter I've known, more so by being separated from you. I have heard we have a new charge to care for beyond your marbari pups, whom I should add are all doing well. After everything we've been through this year, I was awed by your willingness to take in this poor boy. It made me love you all the more. Please, give Jacen my love. I think of you two every day, and long for the day to hold you again. I wait patiently for your forgiveness, and your eventual return.

Yours always,

Alistair

Elissa folded the letter and crawled into bed, holding it to her heart. "Soon. Hopefully soon Alistair."


	7. Chapter 7

Alistair stood on his balcony, breathing in the cool evening breeze. It had been a warm day, signifying that spring had finally arrived, with its budding flowers and newly sprouting grass. It was the first time he'd been out on his balcony since Elissa's miscarriage last fall. The months had melted into one another, and with their quarreling and her distance, he'd stopped doing many of the things he once enjoyed.

In his hand was the response Elissa had written to him 4 months previously, and she hadn't written to him since. In it were the words, "We'll see each other soon. - E" but though it was brief, he held onto the promise in her words. That promise was what fueled him through his days.

Also in his hand was a letter he'd received just that day from Bann Teagan. He said that the lady, whose name was Griselda, was now heavy with child, expecting to give birth in about a month and a half. In the note he added only that while the child was healthy, she seemed aloof, though the doctors assured it to be normal.

"Griselda," Alistair said aloud. The woman for whom he risked it all. In truth it wasn't even for her but for her womb. He had fought thoughts of that evening for months, how he hadn't looked at her face, how he'd made her lie on her hands and knees with a sheet draped over her so he wouldn't have to see her body. He refused to even enter her until absolutely necessary, using his hand to harden himself, penetrating her in the last moments before he came. He'd felt ashamed then, and felt more ashamed now. Not only had he disgraced his wife, but he subjected this poor woman to that humiliation as well. He never saw her again. Teagan was the one who communicated with her and when 3 weeks later he confirmed her pregnancy, Alistair had taken off from Redcliffe as fast as his mare would carry him.

He wanted so badly to write to Elissa again, plead with her to return home, but he felt her silence so unsettling that he feared communicating would push her further away.

As he turned to reenter his bedroom, he heard a commotion from the courtyard below. He watched a man dismount from his horse, and run to the front gates.

"I am a messenger of Redcliffe and I have urgent news for the King!" he bellowed at the guards.

Alistair felt his stomach drop as dread filled his chest.

* * *

"Aww, look at you! You're positively radiant Elle," Liliana said while grinning ear to ear. Highever was finally feeling the beginnings of spring and Elissa couldn't wait to get outdoors for the air. Her swelling stomach however made for several distractions and discomforts as she waddled slowly toward her friend.

"I don't remember being this huge last time at 7 months," Elissa let out a sigh as she sat. "Not that I'm complaining however." She patted her stomach gently and Liliana squeeled as she sat in front of her.

"I really hope there is a girl in there, and I hope you like dresses far more than your mother does. If so, we're going to be the best of friends." Liliana paused. "However, if you are a boy, I suppose I could teach you the many ways to woo a woman, what flowers to get her, how to make her melt when you dance…"

"Very funny Lil," Elissa grimaced as a kick hit her under her ribs. Knowing that look, Liliana instantly held her hand out to have it placed on her friend's belly. Liliana gently pressed her hand against her skin and was greeted with another aggressive kick. Moments later, Elissa felt another kick, but in a far lower spot, so low she froze.

"Liliana. Get Anders and have him meet me in my room." Elissa immediately took off inside while Liliana sprinted to the stables.

* * *

"Well, you didn't imagine it," Anders replied to her, pulling his hands from her stomach. He had Elissa sit up, placing one hand on her stomach and the other on her lower back. "You definitely have two babies in there."

"Oh Maker," Elissa whispered, as her hands sunk into her hands. "Lil, what in the world was in those teas you made me drink?"

Liliana shrunk down a bit in her seat. "Old orlesian remedies for fertilization? Supposedly they increased a woman's ovulation…I didn't realize it would work so well." Liliana bit down on her lip. She didn't know exactly what this would mean for her friend, if the labor would be too great or the taint too powerful with two children inside her.

Anders too seemed perplexed as he continued to do scans of her belly, until a light brightened in his eyes and he looked at her. "Unbelievable."

"What's unbelievable?" Elissa said quietly.

Anders began to scan her again. "Usually, each child forms its own placenta, and in the case of twins, if they are from an egg that splits they share one, but that is not the case with these two. They are from two different eggs. They should have two placentas, but…they seem to have fused together into one."

"Anders, please, spit out what that means." Liliana said impatiently.

"I'm getting to it! Maker woman! Their placenta, it feels different." Anders readjusted his hands to below her ribs. "I can feel the taint within it, but not within the children. It's as if by fusing them together, they created a filtration system to keep themselves safe."

Elissa felt she couldn't breathe. "Anders, are you saying they will most likely live?"

He smiled. "That is exactly what I'm saying." Liliana shrieked in her chair and immediately jumped between the two of them on Elissa's bed, bringing them both into an embrace. The friends laughed and cried together until they heard Jacen begin to stir in the next room.

* * *

Teagan had ordered the guards to restrain Griselda. The change had happened so quickly, within a matter of days. The first sign was the dark blotches which appeared on her forearms. She'd been alarmed and called her maid for help. They were not bruises, but stains, and as hard as she tried she could not scrub them clean. Next, her skin began to turn grey. A few hours later, the lady lost her mind. He starred at her now, as she contorted her face into a snarl, spitting dark fluid at anyone who came within range of her. Her voice had grown deeper, and as she watched Teagan she let out a chilling cackle that made his blood run cold. He only prayed Alistair arrived soon.


	8. Chapter 8

After several rewrites, this chapter is as done as it will ever be. Please enjoy, and thank you for your patience.

* * *

Elissa pulled her long, hooked cloak close to her body as she watched a party approach from a distance. It was late in the evening, but when the servants told her they saw Fergus approaching, she quickly dressed so as to meet her brother upon his arrival. It was only suitable considering he didn't know she was here.

As the horses grew closer, she thought about how she would word her and Alistair's situation in a way that wouldn't widow her. After that, she'd have to explain Jacen, and her pregnancy. Her mind spun just thinking of how complex her life had gotten. Trying to put it into words wouldn't be easy.

The party slowed down as they approached the manor and she waved to Fergus who dismounted quickly upon seeing her.

"Elissa? What the Maker are you doing here?" Fergus laughed as he pulled his sister into an embrace, but his demeanor quickly changed as he took a step back to examine her. His eyes grew wide as he touched her belly. "You're? But what…"

" There's a lot to explain, Fergus, but let me start by saying I've never been so happy to see you." She drew him back into her arms, and held her brother tightly against her. Her returned the embrace, kissing her on the cheek as he turned them towards the manor.

An hour later they sat in his study. Fergus had listened silently as she explained to him all that passed in the last few months and his expression had slowly darkened as she spoke. Now he sat starring into the fireplace, poking idly at the embers. Finally, after several minutes he turned to her.

"I was afraid it would come to this," Fergus whispered. "I knew there was pressure on Alistair but I didn't think…I should have been here to advise him. Elissa I'm so sorry."

"Fergus do you really think you could have changed his mind? His love for me couldn't even make him see reason," Elissa replied dully, as she cradled her stomach.

Fergus smiled sadly at her. "I don't think that was it. I can sympathize with him Elissa, on the fear of losing a loved one. It can consume you, and you'd do anything to gain some control over it."

Elissa stood up then, exhaling loudly before rounding on her brother. "All I keep hearing is 'poor Alistair, he had to make a hard decision.' I know I'm being selfish but what about me?" she seethed. "Is it so wrong to expect some fidelity? Is it so wrong to want my husband to have faith in me that I can carry a child? Is it so wrong…?" Elissa lowered her voice to a whisper. "Is it so wrong to have so much anger, that I don't want to forgive him…"

"No, it's not wrong," Fergus replied. "It's human. You're allowed to be angry Elissa, just like he's allowed to be miserable right now without you. You may be teaching him a valuable lesson." He smiled curtly at her until he saw the emotions in her face shift.

"How do I start over with him again?" tears stung her eyes as she sat back down, lowering her head into her hands.

Fergus knelt in front of her, pulling his sister into his arms. "Do you still love him?" he whispered to her. She silently nodded into his shoulder. "Then, you start again slowly, piece by piece, and trust in the love you have for one another to guide you through the anger." Elissa didn't respond, but continued to weep softly into her brother's shoulder. Fergus sat beside her on the couch and cradled her against him. They fell asleep there, as they had done so many times as children, with a soft crackling fire.

The next morning, the house was roused by the wonder scent of swine.

"Oh Andraste, do I smell bacon?" Anders face was full of joy when he walked into the kitchen to see Fergus preparing several breakfast meats and breads. Jacen cooed from his spot on Anders hip as Fergus walked over to give him a pat on the shoulder.

"Old Highever tradition. When someone comes home from a long trip, the family gathers for breakfast. I figured I'd revive it and test Elissa's appetite." He turned to Jacen. "And who is this strapping young boy? A nephew to spoil I take it?" Jacen shed a single tooth grin at Fergus as he was taken up into his arms.

"Funny really, he'd easily pass as a Cousland. Look at that brow, at those scoundrel eyes." Fergus planted a kiss to the boy's brow and turned to see Anders shoveling pork into his mouth.

"I'll agree with anything right now. This food is heavenly." Anders said with a smile.

As they laughed Liliana flitted into the kitchen and ran to Fergus to greet him. It was about an hour later before Elissa joined them to eat. She had paled considerably from the night before but smiled at her friends gathered before the table.

"Rough night I take it Elle?" Anders said as he fed Jacen some toast.

"Yes…my back is killing me. Those study couches aren't nearly as comfortable as they used to be." She poured herself some juice and walked around to Jacen, planting a kiss on his head. "I'm going to take him for a walk around the gardens. I'll be back shortly." The three at the table nodded silently at her, knowing not to follow.

Elissa took up her favorite bench overlooking the flower beds. Here her mother had planted lavender and honeysuckle when she was a small girl. She had always stressed to her the importance of keeping tradition alive, telling her that the lavender and honeysuckle that grew over this wall was generations old, which was why it remained so fragrant. She cried upon discovering the plants had survived the uprising during the blight.

Then, shortly after their wedding Alistair had planted a rose bush in the empty plot against the stone wall. It flourished now in the warming spring days, its blooms just starting to open. Jacen's whimpering brought her back to the present and she moved to kneel beside him. He held up a finger that was pricked by a thorn.

"It's okay," Elissa cooed to him, kissing his finger until it stopped bleeding. He pointed toward the red bloom and looked at her expectantly. Smiling, she plucked the flower out, being sure to remove the thorns, and handed it to Jacen, who immediately pressed his face into it. He then handed it back to Elissa before toddling off precariously in the grass. He certainly was a fast learner. At 9 months, he already mastered his balance and was working up to a run, though luckily for her it was a work in progress. She could believe how much he'd grown already, and as she held the rose in her hand, watching the small boy trotting through the grass, she placed a hand on her stomach and longed for Alistair. Perhaps it was time.

* * *

When the messenger told him of the state Griselda had entered, Alistair knew this was a task for grey wardens. Alistair had dressed and was sprinting to the warden compound within the hour. There he roused Nathaniel and Oghren telling them he'd explain on the way. They were the only two he trusted for such a mission, and he was lucky they had recently returned to Denerim the previous month.

Alistair told them both about his brief encounter with the woman.

"You had an affair…" Nathaniel remained wide eyed, not truly believing what he was hearing.

"Sod the affair, he had an affair and is still alive," Oghren muttered. "Even I wouldn't have the stones to cross your lady."

"It wasn't an affair," Alistair growled.

"You knocked the broad up warden, there's no lying out of that one," Oghren said, shaking his head.

"Moving on," Alistair growled. "The woman is turning and I have no idea why. Pregnancy even with a child that had the taint wouldn't cause the mother to…to…"

"Grow tentacles, and become a drooling gunlock spewing brood mother?" Oghren finished.

"Yes. That." Alistair said flatly. "Blood isn't mixed between the mother and the child until birth." Alistair sighed. Secretly, he worried for the child. To have hurt Elissa and his marriage and had it all be for nothing…to lose his child and this innocent woman in the process too, in a way it would almost be a fitting punishment. It wasn't the child's fault however, and Alistair hoped they weren't too late to help it.

Nathaniel has been especially quiet to Alistair. It wasn't until they dismounted at Redcliffe that their conversation picked up again. However, moments after tying up his horse, Alistair yelped as the pack containing pans and food stuffs smashed into the back of his head.

"What was that for," he rasped as he rubbed his head.

"You're an idiot," Nathaniel spitted out at him. "Not only did you impregnate a stranger and betray Elissa's trust, you somehow managed to impregnate a woman sensitive to the taint. She'll be completely mad by the time we reach them."

Oghren belched his agreement.

"Thank you both. Like I don't already feel like hell about the entire situation, I need my friends to bash it into my skull."

"That's what true friends do, Alistair. That, and lie to the misses about how much you had to drink." Oghren patted him on the arm.

"How did Elissa ever forgive you for this? Regardless of why you did it she must have been furious." Nathaniel continued as he readjusted the pack back onto the horse.

"She hasn't." Alistair said quietly. "She left for Highever and I haven't seen her in months." Alistair took a deep breath. "I did this so I wouldn't lose her. Now, I'll probably lose her anyway."

Both men grew quiet at this. Nathaniel thought his judgment was incredibly poor, but understood he had been trying to protect his wife. Nathaniel knew of their difficulty in conceiving and had heard the gossip in Amaranthine of how the nobles wished the Queen to be put aside if she could not supply an heir, possibly even removed. He had been disgusted at how quickly the affection for their hero had dwindled. He could not condemn Alistair.

Nathaniel, Oghren and Alistair arrived at Redcliffe to find the village too silent, too still. On their way to Teagan's, they found bodies in the street. When checked, the people were unharmed, but in a deep sleep.

"Andraste's blood, what passed through this town?" Nathaniel whispered. "It's as if the villagers fell asleep where they stood."

"Pissin' spirits, that's what," Oghren growled. "A better question is, why bother keeping them alive? When has a demon spirit ever troubled himself so much?"

Alistair remained silent, surveying the scene. He withdrew his weapons, and his companions followed suit. They made their way up the steps of the castle, prying the door open.

Within the keep they found a scene familiar to the streets. Servants with clothes in their arms had toppled over on their side where they were standing. The guards were slumped against the wall, but they too were alive in a deep sleep. The three men looked at each other aghast, when they heard a scream from the second floor.

Alistair bolted up the stairs with Oghren and Nathaniel is close pursuit. He found Teagan asleep by a bedroom door, and from beneath the door he saw a strange purple glow. He braced himself, and opened the door. He was blinded by the light at first but he heard Nathaniel gasp from behind him. As his eyes settled, they fell upon the form of a tall creature starring back at him. It was elegant, yet deformed, peaceful yet intimidating, silent yet Alistair could hear echoed screams in his mind.

Nathaniel was the first to speak. "By Andraste," he whispered. "It's the Architect."

The Architect folded his hands in front of him, surveying his visitors. "Alistair. I wondered when the day would come that we would meet. I have anxiously awaited it."

"How do you know me?" Alistair said, taking a step into the room.

It moved its head to the side a bit, curiously observing Alistair, before answering. "Elissa and I met three years ago, during her adventures in the area you humans call, Amaranthine I believe. I had the occasion to browse her mind, and there met you. I knew then we'd meet in the future. You, you are much different from Elissa. I find it…interesting." The Architect bowed slightly, revealing something that appeared to be a smile, or a sneer, Alistair couldn't decide which.

"I mean no harm, as I believe I made evident by the lack of corpses in my wake," The Architect continued, not waiting for the men to respond. "I wish only to collect a blood sample from my specimen," it said as it pointed to Griselda's greyed corpse. It was the first time Alistair's eyes had beheld the woman in months. Her face was twisted in agony, and her body was mutilated by cuts and dark ooze spilling from wounds.

"It is not often that I have grey warden children to collect data from. This child was weak and probably would have perished if not for my interference."

Nathaniel stepped forward at this point. "What did you do to its mother? You didn't…"

"Why, I injected her with darkspawn blood, to be specific, the blood of a darkspawn who has regained his free will. It saved the child at first, making it grow stronger, too strong I fear. It tried to ingest its mother's organs and turned her in the process."

Alistair's face twisted in disgust, and felt his eyes begin to sting. "You sacrificed the child…"

The Architect stood still, starring intensively at Alistair as if appraising him. "It is no longer a concern to you," it said softly. "It has served my purposes greatly."

Alistair felt his chest tighten and felt Oghren's hand tighten on his arm, as if to hold him back. His rage however, quickly overpowered him. He let out an anguished cry as he raised his sword to run the Architect through but found himself being hurled towards the wall before he connected. Oghren and Nathaniel tried to run to his side but found themselves being hurled to the opposite side of the room.

"Listen to my words for it will be the last time we speak for several years. I tell you this because one day it will be of great importance to you, and to me. Go to Elissa, and find your future there. Your cures lie within your owns blood, as does the future of your world, years from now, in my final experiment."

Nathaniel made a run for the Architect but found himself flung towards the opposite corner of the room. He grunted s he got up.

Alistair gasped as he tried to regain his footing, leaning against the wall. "Cures for what?"

"This." The Architect removed a jewel encrusted blade from his cloak and thrust it into Alistair's gut. Alistair gasped, crying out as the blade turned in his stomach, his body curling forward as his vision swam before going black. Nathaniel could not move but shouted to Alistair, and then screamed at the creature, "What do you mean within his owns blood? Why fatally wound him just to tell us how to cure him?"

"It will be needed for my experiment. As for his owns blood, Elissa is about to birth twins. Their blood will save their father and their mother." The Architect turned immediately and exited the room. Moments later, Nathaniel felt the force holding him to the wall lessen and immediately heard the stir of people in the castle. He ran to Alistair to inspect his wound but found no blood pouring from it, instead, the skin around the wound looked decayed, as if eating itself away. Oghren got to his feet with a grunt stomped out the door, returning shortly after with a dazed Teagan. Nathaniel tried to rouse Alistair with little success, and then turned to the two men. "Teagan, we need fresh horses. We must leave for Highever immediately if Alistair is to live." Teagan nodded and immediately took off out the door. "Maker save us," Nathaniel uttered.


	9. Chapter 9

Teagan helped carry Alistair to the awaiting horses, where Oghren was shouting orders and helping the stable hands hitch the carriage up. Nathaniel kept watch over his stomach wound which seemed to grow darker with the passing minutes. An hour later Oghren, Nathaniel and Redcliffe's best stable hand were tearing across the country side. The journey from Redcliff to Highever should take about 4-5 days by carriage. The goal was two. Alistair's breathing was heavy, his eyes occasionally fluttering open to reveal increasingly grayed irises.

Nathaniel's mind went over the words the architect had said to them. Elissa was pregnant, a fact she kept secret from Alistair no doubt. What pressed his mind more was about the blood. He shivered at the thought of what it might entail. More importantly, was Elissa already sick?

His mind spun with questions, and he grew dizzy watching the landscape speed pass the carriage window. Nathaniel shut his eyes, knowing soon they'd have to rest the horses. Dead horses would not speed their approach.

Elissa felt the fourth well-aimed kick at her bladder in the last 20 minutes and decided it was time to get out of bed. The sun was just starting to peak over the hillside and she knew she'd be the only one up. The night before had brought back so many memories and she and her friends and Fergus sat and reminsced about the past few years. Jokes turned to tears which turned to drinking which turned to songs, and being the only pregnant woman there, she got to experience it all without the booze.

Elissa walked into the connecting room between her bedroom and Liliana's where Jacen's crib wobbled with the already awake and ready to play child. Walking over to the crib, she didn't immediately pick him up, instead watching him test the crib bars, as if contemplating how to scale them.

"So what is your plan with him?" Fergus spoke from behind her. Elissa turned suddenly, surprised that her brother had caught her off guard. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, you know how these things are looked upon, Ellie. Nobles will want to know where this boy came from, and no matter what story you tell them, him living in the castle will mean he's someone's bastard son." Fergus walked over and affectionately played with Jacen's hair.

"I know." Elissa eyed the boy sadly. "And truly, I don't know what to do with him, or tell him when he grows up, or tell anyone else for that matter. I know I want the best for him and for now, its been with me. Once I go back to Denerim, he'll be in the limelight, forever hearing whispers about him instead of just being a boy with a family who loves him."

"Is your return to Denerim now confirmed? You've decided to give that dirt bag husband of yours another chance to woo you?" Fergus said smugly.

Elissa nodded. "I'm still pretty unsettled about the whole situation, what with me raising another woman's baby along with...well, hopefully my own, but...I know he didn't do it to hurt me, or out of lust or even by accident. I can forgive him, and I think withholding a pregnancy from him has been punishment enough," she smiled as Jacen. "as well as a surrogate son."

"What if..." Fergus began. "What if, Jacen stayed here? When we explain the story about the Wolff estate, it'll make sense that I took the boy in since they're neighbors. Technically, he's under my supervision since I'm Teryrn," Fergus said.

Elissa felt the air escape her chest as she fell back into a seat. "Are you ready for that? You aren't even married, how would you manage this, you do so much traveling and he's still so..."

Fergus hushed her with a kiss to her forehead. "Well, I haven't worked out all the details yet, but I probably would need your help. I would still have to marry soon, and he probably couldn't be my heir, but if I can provide him a good life here away from the harsh eye of nobles, why not?"

"What if people think he's your bastard son?" Elissa said, biting her lower lip.

"So what if they do? Its something I can get away with a lot easier than you, dear sister. Besides, the only way it'd hurt me was in marriage prospects, but I'm sure my charm can overcome and prejudices or rumors." he said with a goofy grin.

How long have you been thinking about this?" Elissa said, a smile now breaking through her face.

"Since I met him. He reminds me so much of Oren it frightens me most days. But," he said, turning towards her, "what about you? How would you feel about this arrangement?"

"I'd miss him terribly, but it sounds too good to turn up. I however insist that you leave him with me in Denerim when you travel, wife or not," Elissa eyed him, extending her hand out to seal the deal.

"Hmm, I suppose he wouldn't have any shortage of playmates," he grinned, as he touched her belly softly before taking her hand. "I believe we have a deal, my Queen." Elissa laughed as she took Fergus into her arms and hugged him tightly.

Late in the afternoon, Leliana, Fergus and Anders took the young boy for a walk around the property while Elissa sat up in bed reading. She'd amassed a sizable pile of mail over the last few months once people found out where she was. She was just beginning to tear into the pile when she doubled over in pain. She'd been in labor before, she knew what to expect but this was different. Cold sweat soaked her brow as her vision darkened, and then the images started. A thunderstorm, a burning pier, a young man running towards an outstretched dagger, intent on impaling himself…

And then she heard herself screaming as the room returned to focus. A servant woman burst through the door to find Elissa hysterical as fluid dampened her dress and bedding. The woman tried to sooth her and tell her that it was natural when labor begins, but Elissa could not explain what she just saw, and didn't have a chance to as her contractions began.

Hours later, Leliana evualated her progession as Anders ran a scan on the children.

"You are barely opening at all," Leliana said, a tone of desperation to her voice. "Its so uncommon for it to take this long for women who…well, have gone through it before," she finished, gently.

Elissa could barely focus on her friends, as sweat poured down her face and her vision continued to blur. She had been having waking nightmares for the last 4 hours with no understanding as to why.

"Your placenta has ripped away," Anders said quietly. Both women looked up at him.

"Its separating from her. That's natural," Leliana responded.

"Yes. It is, but this placenta has been filtering darkspawn taint for months. Its contaminating you El…" Anders spoke slowly. "Its quickening your taint."

"What does that mean," Leliana said impatiently.

"It either kills me, or I kill it," Elissa spoke softly.

"There was research in Weishaupt regarding Wardens who experienced quickening." Anders continued. "Only one has been known to survive."

Another contraction came and Elissa moaned softly as she deepened her breathing.


	10. Chapter 10

Shortly before dawn the next day, Nathaniel and Oghren arrived at Highever. Nathaniel raced up the steps to find a paled Fergus waiting for him.

"Oh great, you have bad news as well," Nathaniel said, eyeing Fergus. "Alistair's been wounded. We need to get him to Elissa."

"Elissa's in labor. She just lost consciousness." Fergus said quietly. As if the weight of Nathaniel's words just hit him, he did a double take. "What do you mean the King is injured? What happened?"

"I'll fill you in." Nathaniel said over his shoulder as he turned back to the carriage. "Help me bring him inside."

Alistair was placed on a cot in Elissa's bedroom, a few feet from his wife. Leliana sat in the bed beside her, wiping her forehead with a damp cloth while whispering softly to her. Anders grave face told all the other men needed to know.

"No improvement?" Fergus asked softly.

"None. Her body is still responding to the birthing, but her quickening taint is effecting her strength. " Anders sighed heavily, resting his head in his hand. "I'm not sure she can survive both."

Nathaniel stepped forward. "I believe I may have instructions to save her," he said quietly.

A few hours later, Fergus and Leliana took Elissa into their arms, supporting her unconcious body from behind to sit up in bed.

"When I tell you to, apply pressure to her stomach, and lean her forward towards her knees. The child will do the rest itself."

Nathaniel sat beside Alistair, listening to his breathing rasp in and out slowly. "She'll be all right, my friend," he whispered. "I promise you, you'll get your chance to make things right."

Alistair coughed in response, showing no other sign that he heard him, but Nathaniel was hopeful.

"All right, here we go," Anders said softly. "Start applying pressure, and gently push her towards her knees."

The labor took over an over, but finally Anders pulled out a crying bundle with a dark tuft of hair.

"Here's our girl," he said proudly, "and she's far bigger than I expected...and louder." He handed the child to Nathaniel. Fergus and Leliana looked on gravely, knowing what would happen next. Nathaniel laid the child beside Alistair on the bed and removed a small blade from his pocket.

"We'll start small," he said to the others, his face full of agony. "I don't want to save them just to feel their wrath from hurting their child..." he muttered to himself.

The little girl wailed as nathaniel pricked her foot with his blade, scooping her blood into a small vial as the drops flowed. When he had collected about half a vial, he dipped his finger into it, spreading it on the wound in Alistair's stomach. Just as he bandaged the child's foot he heard Elissa begin to groan.

"I think number 2 is ready to come out," Ander said gravely. "Is it working?"

Nathaniel took a moment to answer. The wound was changing color, though the size was not changing. "Something's happening, but I'm not sure what."

Fergus and Leliana took position behind Elissa again, supporting her unconscious body once more.

As the labor progressed, Nathaniel felt the taint within Alistair strengthen, but change.

"He's quickening as well," Nathaniel whispered. "And its getting stronger."

"A few more pushes," Anders said to his friends. Within a few moments, he held the second child, a small boy, who was far quieter than his sister, but healthy all the same. Nathaniel watched as the wound on Alistair's stomach began to shrink in size, letting off a small glow as the blood seemed to work its magic. His mouth hung open in astonishment.

"Its working..." was all he could utter.

Fergus and Leliana laid Elissa back into bed carefully, Leliana helping Anders deliver the tainted placenta while Fergus cared for the boy. Once the placenta was delivered, Anders scanned Elissa to find a change in her quickening, but found none.

"Its killing her," he whispered. "Its too much of a strain on her body."

Nathaniel brought the baby girl to the bedside. "We'll try the blood on her then. Supposedly it should cure her as well."

"Why not the boy?" Fergus said. "We don't want to weaken the child too much."

"He's too small," Anders replied. "That and we don't know if they both carry the healing property or if we just got lucky. Elissa doesn't have time to guess. We have minutes if that."

Leliana nodded her agreement and bit her lip as the child wailed again as they cut her other foot.

Alistair stirred. Hearing the cries, he forced himself to turn on his side and watch as his friends took blood from a small child. He then realized he was in Highever, and that the woman on the bed had to be...

"Elissa," he rasped out. Nathaniel turned and caught Alistair as he stumbled out of the cot.

"Easy, you're still weak." Nathaniel grunted, but Alistair tried to squirm out of his grip. Nathaniel maneuevered him to the other side of the bed to sit by Elissa, who was now having blood tilted into her throat. Tears streamed down his face as his fingers brushed her paled cheek. He looked to his friends, baffled, for an explanation.

Fergus was the first to speak, as he placed the boy in Alistair's arms. "You have a boy, and a girl, your majesty. And we have a lot to catch you up on."

A few hours later, the room was cleaned, the children were nursed and cared for, but Elissa still slept.

Alistair laid beside her. Leliana had bathed her and pulled her hair back neatly, but her color was still so pale, and to him she felt cold as stone. Nathaniel assured him the "cure" was working, but that it would take time given the extend of the labor.

Still, as he ran his fingers over her chin, he couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked, even now. He felt like such a fool when Nathaniel and Anders explained to him about the pregnancy, and even more a fool when they put his daughter in his arms and he turned to liquid putty.

Elissa shifted and her eyes fluttered, making Alistair breath catch in his throat. She turned slowly to look at him, a puzzled look forming on her face.

"Am I dreaming or are you really here," she whispered.

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied with a smile as he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead.

"You've been a very bad woman."

A small smile crossed her lips before worry set in. "Where are they? Are they all right? Were they..."

Alistair hushed her with a kiss. "Our son and daughter are perfect happy and healthy, screaming their lungs out a few doors down for food. Leliana is fawning over them for us. Its my job to fawn over you for a few decades and tell you daily what an ass i've been, if you let me."

A she pursed her lips together. "How is Jacen?" She felt badly changing the subject on him, but wanted to account for everyone before moving onto personal affairs.

Alistair noticed the shift in conversation, but tried to hide the dejected look as best he could. "Oh, Fergus is fawning over him, showing him his new cousins. He's...well, I can't tell you what it meant to me when I heard what you did for him." She squeezed his hand, his cheery mask falliing immediately as he bit his lower lip.

Alistair face clouded with emotion as he scooted closer to her, taking her into his arms slowly. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but will you please give me a chance to earn it?" he whispered to her, his fingers grazing over her lips.

Elissa pushed her face into his hand, feeling the electricity of his touch and sighed deeply against him, feeling content for the first time in months. "Yes," she whispered back. "I can do that, but right now you need to kiss me."

His face lifted into a goofy grin of relief as he tilted her back in his arms. "You're desire is my command," he whispered to her, catching her lips with his.

Several weeks later, spring was beginning to give way to summer and Elissa and the children were strong enough now to make the trip home to Denerim. Alistair sat outside on the grass, craddling his daughter, Katherine, in his lap as he explained to her all the flowers in the garden, slipping in, Elissa mused, about how she was far more beautiful than all of them. Her son, Darren, gurgled as he finished feeding, immediately closing his hazel eyes for a nap. While Katherine had a head full of light brown hair, her brother was practically bald except for the slightest fuzz of golden hair.

She had asked Alistair what became of the woman and her child in Redcliff weeks earlier, and found herself feeling horrified by what transpired. He shared with her the guilt he felt, and she had held him for hours that evening, feeling the smallest amount of relief knowing her husband was confiding in her again. They made love that evening for the first time since their reunion, and even now she felt herself fluster at the memory of the lust and passion he unleashed at her numberous times that evening.

"Are you thinking about me naked again?" Alistair whispered in her ear, startling her out of her thoughts. She hadn't even heard him approach her and she blushed, revealing her guilt.

"I don't know what your talking about," she replied, putting Darren back into his pen for a nap. She took Katherine from Alistair's arms and settled her next to her brother, arranging the insect netting on the outdoor crib for several moments before turning back to face her husband. Alistair took the opportunity to slip a few inches closer.

"I know that look you get when your thinking dirty thoughts about me," he growled in her ear before taking her lobe between his teeth. She bit her lip. He really did know how to unravel her.

A cough broke their embrace, and Alistair looked over her shoulder to see her brother standing a short distance away, cocking an eyebrow at him. "Fergus." Alistair smirked as he nodded.

"I wanted to alert you, your Majesty, that your carriage is prepared and awaiting your command to exit my humble abode." Alistair made a face at Fergus's tone, causing Fergus to break and laugh. "Or you could stay here for a few more weeks. I rather miss having a full house."

Alistair's smile slid off his face. "I wish we could. You'll have to come to court soon though."

"We'll miss you and Jacen too much if you don't." Elissa added, wrapping an arm around Alistair's waist.

The three hugged, and a few hours later, Alistair, Elissa and the children left for Denerim, with Nathaniel, Anders, Leliana and Oghren promising to follow shortly. They were heading to Warden's Keep to question Avernus about the children and what Alistair and Elissa had experienced.

The Architect moved swiftly through his chambers, placing the sheathed dagger upon his laboratory desk. He reached into his robes and removed a small bundle. He placed it gently within the small basket and covered it up with a blanket. Its form could barely be called human, its eyes were heavy, its skin dark with taint, and its expression blank.

"You shall be my greatest work yet," It said to the small creature.

The End…for now.


End file.
